Very honest moving post here on the gut-wrench you always get on hearing about someone who has gotten pregnant just like that. It always punches me in the stomach.

ksirahsirah

stormy sky

And in one simple instant, the wind beneath my wings is gone. The joyfulness in my eyes disappears and the ache in my heart returns.

When I heard the news this morning my heart skipped a beat, my chest tightened, and tears sprang to my eyes all before I could even process what was being said.

She’s pregnant.

She told me that they were going to start trying after the New Year.

And a little over one month later-she’s pregnant.

How are some people so lucky? One moth trying and pregnant? I would give anything to know what that would be like; the innocence, the purity, the bliss of it all. No strings attached, just having sex and next thing you know- two pink lines.

I’m angry with myself for feeling this way. Embarrassed really.

Will I ever be able to just be happy for these women? Will these feelings…

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